


Footsteps in the Dust

by Sixylicious



Series: Halla, Hawk, and Fox [5]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Temple of Sacred Ashes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4348019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sixylicious/pseuds/Sixylicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Confronting their regrets in the Gauntlet on their way to retrieve the Urn of Sacred Ashes - and an unfortunate encounter on the way back to Redcliffe after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Footsteps in the Dust

All the warmth was gone from her body the moment the Guardian spoke. Valythari averted her gaze, feeling tears well up immediately. "I did... I failed him. I should have stopped him from touching the mirror, I should have searched for him more. I could have saved him... I wish I had."

Alistair was suddenly at her side, his presence the strong reminder she had grown to lean on so much lately. "You are too hard on yourself," he murmured, "No one's perfect."

Wynne nodded in agreement. "Accept your failings, but do not let them govern your life."

The Guardian addressed Alistair next, the human she'd somehow come to view as a best friend.

"I... yes. If Duncan had been saved, and not me, everything would be better."

"Don't say that!" Valythari interrupted, unable to keep quiet. "Don't say that, please... I can't lose you too, I can't."

The Templar only managed a bit of a smile and nodded. They were in this together, after all. He viewed her similarly, though neither of them would admit it aloud.

"And the Antivan elf... many have died at your hand. But is there any you regret more than--?"

Zevran instantly became defensive, the barely withheld emotion in his response obvious to everyone. "How do you know about that? Yes, I regret it," he responded.

The Guardian simply nodded and turned to open the door, unaffected by the assassin's response. "The way is open."

\-----

Valythari opened the next door and the tears-it felt like they had barely dried-returned immediately to her eyes. She closed the distance between them with an embrace without hesitation. "Tamlen? Tamlen! Is it really you?" 

It had to be, but it couldn't be. He was so cold. Tamlen had always been so full of life. The specter smiled, so much like Tamlen always had. "You think this cannot be Tamlen. Tamlen is gone; he is only footsteps in the dust."

"I don't want you to be gone. I tried to find you, I did."

"I know. Some things lost can never be found, some mistakes never unmade," he began. He raised a hand to brush her hair from her face, an echo of a gesture he had done so many times throughout their lives. "And those that survive must go on living. You have suffered enough, thinking that you could have done something. It is time to leave that behind. I forgive you, lethallan. Promise me you will forgive yourself. Ane vasreëm, 'ma'sa'lath."

Valythari nodded, managing a tearful smile. "Sule tael tasalal."

She had to forgive herself. Tamlen wouldn't want her to dwell on the past forever.

 

\------

The archdemon's gaze pierced through the veil of sleep, waking both wardens with a start. Before Valythari could speak, a group of shrieks materialized and everyone sprung into action. Valythari's attention was drawn to a figure standing slightly apart from the others, seeming almost hesitant to attack. It looked familiar, too familiar. It was like being plunged into icy water. "Tamlen!"

"Lethallan... don't look, stay away!"

He fled from her but she chased him down, ignoring that her companions were still fighting off the remaining shrieks. "Tamlen, please!"

When he finally turned to face her, Valythari felt her heart break all over again. He was barely recognizable, so corrupted by the darkspawn. It had been four months, how was he still alive? "Vhenan, what happened to you?"

"The song... I still hear it. Just want it to stop... Make it go away, please," Tamlen begged. "Please kill me."

"Don't ask me that, please! I can't kill you. There has to be some other way!"

"Never wanted to hurt you... Always loved you, vhenan. Sorry... so sorry. Have to do this."

Valythari watched in horror as he drew his sword and lunged for her. Before she could stop them, most of her companions converged on him to defend her. Valythari screamed as Tamlen fell to the ground, smiling sadly up at her before his eyes closed for the last time. She shoved everyone out of the way and collapsed on the ground beside him, tears streaming freely from her eyes. 

Alistair knelt beside her, recognizing after a moment who she was crying for. He'd witnessed her reaction to the specter in the Gauntlet. "This is what the taint does when it's left unchecked... I'm sorry, Valythari. It was an act of mercy."

His words were little comfort. 

Once her tears dried, she buried Tamlen's body where he had fallen.

**Author's Note:**

> The timing of this in my game was so tragic, and I even knew the encounter with Tamlen as a ghoul was coming. Some dialogue taken directly from the game, some improvised. All Elvhen credit to FenxShiral/Project Elvhen.


End file.
